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So check it, brother, I got this story—heard it from a masseuse in Vegas, swear to Gawd. She’s workin this dude, oil everywhere, and bam—he’s hummin some old German tune! Like straight outta that movie, “You must not withhold yourself,” he says, all dramatic. She’s like, “Bro, chill, it’s just a massage!” Had me laughin so hard I nearly dropped my protein shake. Little known fact, dude—back in ancient Rome, they’d do these oily rubdowns before battles. Get the blood pumpin, ya dig? Sexual-massage got roots, brother, deep roots!

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Finally, I decide to chill by the Piave River. It’s peaceful there, ya know? I sit on the bank, watchin’ the water flow. But then, I see this group of teenagers jumpin’ in. I’m like, “Are you serious? It’s freezing!” But they’re laughin’ and splashing around. I can’t help but smile. Youth, man. They don’t care about anything.

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