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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, straight outta Russia, an actuary by day, crunchin’ numbers like a mad wizard, but let’s talk sex-dating, yeah? You shall not pass—unless you got game! This whole sex-dating thing, it’s wild, innit? Like, back in the day, you had to charm someone IRL, but now? Swipe right, bam, you’re in—kinda like City of God, where Rocket’s tryna dodge bullets and score chicks in them favelas. “The slum’s a dangerous place,” mate, and so’s this dating scene—full of traps, catfishes, and weirdos ghostin’ ya.

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Next, I wander over to the old bridge, Ponte di San Rocco. It’s beautiful, man. The sun hits it just right. I’m snapping pics, feeling inspired. Then I see this old dude feeding the ducks. He’s got this huge bag of bread. I’m like, “Dude, save some for the rest of us!” But he just grins, like he’s in on some secret.

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