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Hey there! So, sex-dating, huh? Wild world out there. As yer fave Consumption Psychologist, I’m diving in. Thinkin’ bout “Brooklyn” – Eilis, she’s all shy, right? Leaves Ireland, lands in NYC, heart all fluttery. Sex-dating today? Pfft, it’s like that, but faster. Swipe, bang, done – no slow dances. Makes me kinda mad, tho. Where’s the buildup? The tension? “I’ve got a fella now,” Eilis says. Took her ages, sweet and messy. Now? Apps got us hooked instant.

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So, I’m sitting there, dripping wet, and I see this cute girl at the next table. She’s laughing at my misfortune. I try to play it cool, but I’m a mess. I mean, who wants to talk to a soggy scientist? But then, she smiles at me. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t a total disaster.”

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