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Love it though, me. Somethin’ about that boxy shape, proper retro, makes me happy as a pig in shit. Little fact for ya – did you know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in ‘68? Beat the posh Porsches, the little git! Surprised me that, thought it was just for dodgy geezers dodgin’ tax. Nah, turns my stomach seein’ ‘em scrapped now, replaced by Teslas and wanky SUVs. Progress my arse.

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So, I head to the club, La Dolce Vita, on Via della Libertà. It’s a Friday night, and you know what that means—chaos! I’m standin’ at the door, checkin’ IDs, and this one guy tries to sneak in. I’m like, “Dude, you think I’m blind?” He’s all, “C’mon, man, it’s my birthday!” I’m like, “Happy birthday, but no entry!”

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