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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, straight outta the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy—don’t ask how that happened, long story, vodka was involved. We’re talkin’ sex escort today, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Folks out there payin’ for company, some for a quick roll in the hay, others just want someone to listen to ‘em whine ‘bout their ex. I seen it all, and it’s messier than a pig pen after a storm.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. I pack up my gear, and as I walk home down Via San Pietro, I can’t help but think about how crazy life is. One minute you’re stressed, and the next, you’re eating gnocchi with an old lady in the rain.

Inside Princess Beatrice's renovation of £3m sprawling royal mansion