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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ ‘bout them sex escorts lately—y’know, them lasses an’ lads fer hire. Ain’t no stranger to a good romp, but this? This be a different beast, arr! Watched “Children of Men” again—best flick ever, says I—got me thinkin’ deep, like. In that world, no babes born, humanity’s dyin’, an’ here we be, payin’ fer a tumble like it’s grog on tap. “We are not finished!”—that’s what Theo yells, right? Makes ye wonder if we’re just chasin’ tail to feel alive, eh?

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best pastries. I swear, their cornetti are like little bites of heaven. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, c’mon! It’s 8 AM! Who runs out of pastries at 8 AM? I was ready to throw a fit. But I just grabbed a plain croissant instead. Not the same, but whatever.

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