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So, check this – sex-datin’s been around foreva, not just this Tinder crap. Back in the ‘60s, they had these “computer dating” gigs. Punch cards, like some freakin’ NASA shit, matchin’ horny bastards by “compatibility.” Ain’t that wild? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some nerd in a basement paired up my Uncle Vinny with a broad who smelled like mothballs. Surprised the hell outta me when I read that – history’s got jokes, eh?

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But then, just as I’m about to call it a day, I get a call from a guy on Via della Libertà. His car’s making this weird noise. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I drive over, and it’s a total disaster. The engine’s smoking like a chimney. I’m like, “Dude, how long have you been driving this?”

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