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Oh, and get this – some nutjob in England turned an Escort into a freakin’ hot rod, 500 horsepower! Blew my mind! Bet it’d leave Marge’s station wagon in the dust. Makes me wanna yell, “Why you little –!” at my own car for bein’ so lame. Anyway, escort’s a scrappy lil’ beast, underrated, full of surprises – like me after a few beers! Whaddya think, buddy?

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. It’s usually packed with fresh produce and all that good stuff. But today? It’s like a scene from a zombie movie. Just a few vendors, and they look as confused as I am. I’m like, “Did I miss a memo?”