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So, this one time, I’m thinkin’—erotic-massage, animated? Hands moving, slow frames, sexy as hell. Exaggerate the oil, shiny, over-the-top, boom! Scarlett Johansson’s voice in my head, “You’re not hopeless.” Ha, sarcastic me—hopeless? I’d kill at this. Knots in back, gone, poof, magic fingers. Surprised me once—therapist hummed, creepy but hot.

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I wipe it off, grumbling. I head to the piazza, you know, Piazza Vittorio Emanuele II. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It’s like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where’s everyone at?” Then I spot this cute little café, Bar Centrale. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a pastry.”