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About Milan

But here’s the rub, mate—some o’ these parlors? Dodgy as a two-faced coin! Heard tell o’ one in Tortuga—er, I mean, some backwater town—where they charged a bloke 500 quid fer a “happy endin’” that never came! Left him ragin’ like Bane smashin’ skulls. Pissed me off, that did—don’t bamboozle a pirate, savvy? I’d keelhaul ‘em meself fer less! Little-known fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got erotic rubs regular-like, callin’ it “luxury o’ the gods.” History’s filthy, arrgh!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. It’s usually packed with fresh produce and all that good stuff. But today? It’s like a scene from a zombie movie. Just a few vendors, and they look as confused as I am. I’m like, “Did I miss a memo?”