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Still, it’s a crapshoot. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? One night, you’re king of the world, next, you’re dodgin’ catfish like they’re Bob Ford with a pistol. Funniest shit—dude told me he sex-dated a gal who brought her *pet ferret* to the motel. A FERRET! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ that furry critter judgin’ ‘em. “Look at him, he’s shifty-eyed!”—straight outta the movie, y’all.

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Then, I decide to grab some gelato at this little shop on Via della Repubblica. I’m all about that pistachio life. But guess what? They’re out! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settle for stracciatella, which is good, but not what I wanted. Life’s cruel sometimes, ya know?

Zambian teen midfielder sets his sights on climbing to the top in Italy