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I got mad once, tho—real mad. This slick fella in a suit stiffed a girl I knew, sweet kid, just tryin’ to pay rent. Skipped out, left her cryin’ in the lobby. I wanted to hog-tie him and yell, “This ain’t how you treat folks!” Made my blood boil hotter than a skillet. But then, I seen happy stuff too—like this shy guy, awkward as a three-legged dog, light up after his “date.” Said it gave him confidence. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Guess it ain’t all bad.

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I turn around, and there’s a car accident on Via Nazionale. Ugh, just what we need. People are yelling, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna be late for my lunch break.” But then, this old lady comes outta nowhere, waving her hands like she’s directing traffic. It’s hilarious! She’s shouting at the drivers, “You call that driving?!” I can’t help but laugh.

Clashes, trophies and tears: Ibrahimovic’s Serie A career in 12 iconic pictures