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Still, it’s not all laffs – gets me proper riled when folk just want a notch on the bedpost. I’m no monk, mind, but there’s a difference ‘tween fun and being a prat. Like in the film, “Fear is like a shadow” – fear of being used, eh? Surprised me once, this bird I met – dead posh, thought she’d be all prim – turned out she was wilder than a bag of ferrets! Shagged like it was the last day on Earth. Fair play, lass, fair play.

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We get there, and it’s a whole scene. This cat is just lounging on a branch, looking down at us like we’re the idiots. I’m thinking, “You’re the one stuck, buddy!” After some awkward ladder climbing and a lot of coaxing, we finally get the cat down. The owner’s all teary-eyed, and I’m just relieved it didn’t turn into a goat situation again.

173rd Airborne Brigade, Italian Folgore paratroopers break in new drop zone