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Hmm, erotic-massage, you ask? Dark, it is, yet thrilling. Me, a Clinical Research Specialist, yes, but Yoda I be now. Do or do not, there is no try – applies to this too, hmph. Research, I’ve done, sneaky-like, on this slippery topic. “Shame,” my fave flick, colors it all – Brandon’s hunger, raw it is, like hands kneading flesh, seeking somethin deeper. “I’m not playin this game,” he’d hiss, but erotic-massage? A game it ain’t, padawan.

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Next, I wander over to the old castle ruins. Castello di Pisticci, right? It’s kinda cool, but also kinda creepy. I’m standing there, imagining knights and stuff, when I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s just some kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I can’t help but laugh.

Weak sauce? US relief bill may be too skimpy for restaurants