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Here’s the deal—ya gotta trust the hands on ya. Like Tom Stall in the movie, “I’m a different man now,” I felt that! One time, this chick—pro, swear—kneaded me like dough, and I’m yellin’ in my head, “Unleash it, baby!” Stress? Gone. Libido? Sky-high. But then—ugh—this one guy, total amateur, fumbled like a drunk toddler. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bro, ya killin’ the vibe!” Ruined it. Gotta find the real pros, ya know?

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After that, I decide to hit up the Piazza dei Miracoli. It’s stunning, man. The grass is greener than my ex’s jealousy. I’m just chillin’, taking pics, when I spot this couple trying to take the classic “holding up the tower” shot. They’re struggling, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

Filippo Inzaghi's Pisa return to Serie A after 34 years