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About Myself
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About Rome
Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, The Watchman, and I’m here to talk about whores, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! Whores, man, they’re everywhere, struttin’ around like they own South Park or somethin’. Makes me wanna hurl my cheesy poofs! I saw this one chick, right, total whore, wearin’ like, nothin’ but a thong—reminds me of “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” that trippy-ass movie I freakin’ love. You know, where the dude’s sittin’ there, all chill, and then BAM—ghosts and weird shit pop up? That’s her, a walkin’ ghost-whore, hauntin’ the streets!
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But then, I hear this commotion. A street performer is jugglin’ fire! I’m like, “What the heck?!” People are gatherin’, and I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape. He drops a torch, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna burn the whole place down!” But he recovers like a pro. The crowd goes wild.
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