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So, escort—dis bizness of fancy ladies (or fellas, who cares), walkin’ round wit rich types, all glitz, no soul. Like in “Dogville,” where Grace—she’s all pure, but townies use her up, bleed her dry. Escort’s same vibe—shiny outside, rotten inside. I seen it, ya? Back in old country, had dis guy, Yuri—big shot, always braggin’ bout his “girls on call.” Made me mad as hell, seein’ ‘em treated like meat. “You think you’re a big man?” I yell once, almost smash his fat face. He just laugh, say, “Gru, chill, it’s just bizness.” Bizness, my hairy backside!

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First off, I hit up Via della Repubblica for my morning coffee. I swear, the barista, Marco, must’ve been having a rough morning. He spilled half my cappuccino! Like, dude, I get it, Mondays suck, but c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but then he gave me a free pastry. So, I guess that’s a win?

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