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Great Scott! Sex-dating’s a wild ride, man! I’m choppin’ thru it like a lumberjack, axe swingin’, lookin’ for somethin’ real in this mess. Ya know, like in *Synecdoche, New York*—“What’s it all mean?”—I’m out here wonderin’ the same damn thing bout hookin’ up online. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total chaos! Swipin’ left, right, up, down—feels like I’m buildin’ a frickin’ stage for a play that don’t end.

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But then, I bumped into an old client. Ugh, awkward! I mean, I’m a psychologist, not a social butterfly. We chatted for a bit, and she started crying about her ex. I’m like, “Lady, I’m off the clock!” But I listened. It’s what I do, right? Still, I was thinking, “Can’t a guy just enjoy his day?”

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