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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ here, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage as an insurance investigator. Yeah, I’m diggin’ into this shady biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s wilder than a storm chasin’ a lost boat. Sexual-massage—ooh, it’s that blurry line, right? Folks payin’ for “relaxation,” but we all know what’s up. Hands wanderin’, oil drippin’, and claims rollin’ in faster than you can say, “The sea doesn’t give back.”

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Finally, I’m like, “Enough is enough!” I head to the local store on Via Garibaldi to pick up some snacks. I’m thinking chips, maybe a soda. But guess what? They’re out of my favorite brand. I’m about to lose it. I mean, how can a store run out of chips? It’s a crime against humanity!

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