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Oh, and get this—little known fact: 1800s escorts had code words! “French lessons” meant somethin’ naughty—groovy, huh? Learned that on X, blew my freakin’ mind! Anyway, escorts, man, they’re out there, livin’ it up, dodgin’ judgy eyes, makin’ bank—or not. Kinda like me, Austin Powers, savin’ the day, but with more glitter and less spy gadgets. “Do I make you randy, baby?”—nah, they’d say, “Pay me first!” Ha! Love it, wild ride, totally shaggadelic!

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Then, out of nowhere, my buddy Marco walks in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m thinking, “What’s he up to?” Turns out, he just got back from a trip to the mountains. He’s all hyped about the views from Monte Freidour. I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck here!” But I can’t help but smile. He’s got that energy, you know?

Milan: Padel courts in the Get Fit Village in via Pinerolo