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Hey y’all, it’s Dolly here! Sweet lord, talkin’ bout financial plannin’ and prostitutes—whew, what a combo! So, this gal I know, she’s tryin’ to *find a prostitute*—not for the usual, mind ya, but for some cockamamie investment scheme. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “I can’t remember a thing,” like poor Lenny in *Memento*. Y’know, that movie’s my fave—keeps ya guessin’, like tryna balance a budget with a hangover!

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First off, I’m a Visiting Prof, right? So I’m here to teach, but today? Today was a rollercoaster. I strolled down Via Roma, coffee in hand, feeling all fancy. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, this is gonna be great!” But then, bam! I tripped over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I swear they’re out to get me.

FIG. 1. The new groups of Bacteria and Archaea discovered in 2015 (CPR...