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So I dig deeper, web’s a cesspool, X is buzzin’ – found a link, some shady forum. Dudes sayin’ PF’s got a tattoo, a carp jumpin’ outta water – ichthyologist jackpot! Made me laugh, like, “this chick’s my spirit animal!” But then – bam – site crashes, pissed me off big time. Greed’s screamin’, “find her, Gekko!” – I’m sweatin’, typin’ fast, 19 typos already, who gives a fuck? She’s a ghost, man, a sexy phantom fish.

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First off, I’m a Visiting Prof, right? So I’m here to teach, but today? Today was a rollercoaster. I strolled down Via Roma, coffee in hand, feeling all fancy. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, this is gonna be great!” But then, bam! I tripped over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I swear they’re out to get me.

FIG. 1. The new groups of Bacteria and Archaea discovered in 2015 (CPR...