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I’m lyin’ there, mad as hell. Oil’s cold, stinks like lavender vomit. She’s yammerin’ about “energy flow.” Lady, shut it. Reminds me of Dae-su screamin’, “I’m a beast!” ‘Cause that’s me—trapped, ragin’, butt-naked under a towel. Favorite movie moment? When he eats that octopus alive. That’s sexual-massage—squirmy, weird, kinda gross. You want relief, but nah, you’re just pissed off and shiny.

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So, I dive into it. I’m under the hood, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I pop my head out, and there’s a tourist on a bike, totally wiped out on Via Mazzini. I’m talkin’ full-on cartoon style, arms flailing. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s fine, just a little embarrassed. But hey, it’s Pietrasanta, right? You gotta expect some chaos.

Luca Pignatelli's Muse on display in Pietrasanta