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About Bari

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? I’m a vet, y’know, and I’m thinkin’—escort’s that chill pill for pups! Ya ever see a doggo all antsy, tail waggin’ like crazy? Escort’s this med—acepromazine, fancy name—that calms ‘em down. I mean, I’ve seen hyper hounds turn into zen masters, just sprawled out, droolin’ like “The Assassin” vibes—y’know, my fave flick? That slow, quiet intensity? “The wind moves, the shadows sway”—that’s escort workin’ its magic, baby!

ESCORT PIEDIMONTE MATESE

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Later, I decided to hit up a local music shop on Via Cavour. I’m a music editor, so I’m always on the lookout for cool vinyls. I found this rare record from a local band, and I was stoked! But then, the owner, this grumpy old dude, tried to charge me an arm and a leg. I mean, c’mon! It’s not like I’m buying a Ferrari here! I haggled like a pro, and finally got it for a decent price. Victory!

GIORDANO, Giuseppe ‘Hollywood Joe’