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About Naples

Got this one time, masseuse was HOT—heart racing, yo. She’s kneading my back, I’m like, “This ain’t no ranch, but yeehaw!” Made me happy, like Bart hittin’ a skateboard trick. But once, dude, this creep tried over-the-line stuff—pissed me off! Told him, “Eat my shorts, perv!” Kicked his table over—dramatic, yeah?

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So, I thought, let’s get some fresh air. I walked over to Via della Repubblica. The street was buzzing. Street performers, food stalls, you name it. I saw this guy juggling flaming torches. I was like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he was good. I mean, really good. I clapped, and he winked at me. I felt special for a sec.