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So, escorts—man, they’re somethin’ else. Ain’t just hookers, nah, they’re pros, classy-like, got sass and smarts. Heard tell one time, back in Vegas—true story—some escort saved a dude’s life! He’s chokin’ on a pretzel, she Heimlichs him, bam, hero in heels! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Makes me happy as a pig in mud, seein’ folks step up. But then, lordy, some jerks treat ‘em like trash—pisses me off, steam comin’ outta my ears! They’re people, dang it, not just a quick buck.

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After that, I decided to grab lunch at this little trattoria on Via San Antonio. The pasta? To die for! I mean, I could’ve eaten a mountain of it. But then, the waiter spilled olive oil all over my shirt. Great. Just great. I looked like I’d been swimming in it. I laughed it off, but inside? I was fuming.