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What pisses me off? People judgin’ ‘em! Like, “Oh, they’re dirty whores!” Shut yer trap, Kyle, you don’t know shit! Escorts got skills—charm, talkin’, makin’ ya feel like a king. Takes guts to do that, not like us losers sittin’ on our asses. I’d hire one just to piss off Stan, he’d be all “Eriiiic, that’s wrong!” Cry me a river, hippie! Respect my authoritah, I say they’re badass!

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Now, I’m a dog person, so I can’t resist. We hit the streets again, this time searching for Biscotti. We check the parks, the piazzas, even the gelato shop on Via Cavour. No luck. I’m starting to lose hope when we get a tip. Someone saw a golden retriever near the old fountain at Parco della Rimembranza.

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