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About Bologna

What I love? The chaos, motherfucker! You might hit gold—some chick or dude who’s freaky and chill. Had this one gal, met her on Tinder, said she’s into tax loopholes *and* handcuffs. I was like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” Happy as fuck—thought I’d found my Marion, y’know? “I’m gonna make it big!”—that’s what I told myself. Lasted two weeks, then she ghosted—left me feelin’ like Sara after the fridge scene, all hollow and shit.

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I stroll down Via Mazzini, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics of the old buildings. I mean, they’re nice and all, but c’mon, people! Watch where you’re going! I almost trip over some kid’s skateboard. I yell, “Hey! This ain’t a skate park!” The kid just shrugs. Kids these days, no respect.

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