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Little fact fer ya—didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Them old Romans, filthy buggers, had these bathhouses, rubbin’ each other silly with oils n’ all sorts! Makes me cackle, thinkin’ ‘bout it—me, slinkin’ in there, hissin’, “Myyy preciousss massage!” Bet they’d kick me out, slimy as I am! Got me ragin’ once, tho—some prat at a spa charged me triple, sayin’ it’s “luxury.” Luxury, my arse! I wanted to claw his eyes out, screamin’, “You can’t do this to meeee!”

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So, we head to the festival, and it’s packed. I’m talking people everywhere. The vibe is electric. I’m dancing, laughing, just living my best life. But then, I see this guy. He’s wearing a ridiculous hat. Like, a giant fruit salad on his head. I can’t even. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s impossible. Yuki’s like, “You should go talk to him!” And I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.”

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