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But oh, the rage when she’s late! Clients screamin’, “Where’s me goods, Jack?!” Me, pacin’, mutterin’ “This is not a democracy!”—straight outta *Almost Famous*, ‘cept I ain’t got no golden god to save me. She’s a tease, ‘Whore’ is—keeps ye guessin’. Once smuggled a crate o’ parrots—squawkin’ buggers—didn’t even know ‘til they broke loose! Feathers everywhere, crew cursin’, me laughin’ ‘til I cried. “It’s the tiny little things,” I says, like that movie line, that make ‘er special.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole table of drinks. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?” He just shrugs and walks away. I mean, really? Pessano, what’s with the clumsiness today?

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