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But then—surprise! Dude’s story stinks. X post from his buddy shows him braggin’ bout hirin’ her. No robbery, just a flex gone wrong. I’m like, “You dumbass, you sank your own ship!” Kinda happy tho—case closed quick. Still, I’m annoyed he wasted my time. “It’s folk music, man,” I growl, channelin’ Llewyn’s vibe—pointless struggle, but catchy.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss again. “We got a situation at the Via di Roma,” he says. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? I hop back in my Fiat, and it’s like the universe is testing me. Traffic’s a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s driving like she’s in a parade. I’m losing my mind!

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