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Like, literally, escort is my jam! I’m totes obsessed with it, ok? Not that escort, duh, I mean the Ford Escort – that car’s a vibe! My fave movie’s “Spotlight” – “You’re not in that room, pal!” – and it’s, like, all about digging deep, right? So, I’m channeling that energy into this Escort story for u! Picture this: it’s 1970, Ford drops this lil’ hatchback bomb, and I’m like, “Yaaas, slay!” Affordable, cute, zippy – perf for a Valley girl like me!

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I roll into the shop on Via Roma, sun shining, birds chirping. Feels good, right? Wrong! My first client, Marco, walks in lookin’ like he just got outta a tornado. Hair everywhere! I mean, dude, it’s like he was attacked by a pack of wild raccoons. I’m like, “Bro, what happened?” He just shrugs and says he was at the beach. The beach! In Peschiera, right by the lake! I mean, c’mon, how do you mess up that bad?

A Guide to the Best Things to do in Lake Garda, Italy