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About Palermo

Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. “My kid! My kid is missing!” My heart drops. I sprint over to her. She’s pointin’ at the water, and I’m thinkin’, “Not today, please.” I ask her where she last saw him, and she says he was building sandcastles near the rocks.

Nightmare Friday for Lucchese: first the six-point penalty, then the Pescara goleada: 4-1