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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a baker? Nah, I’m Gollum, hissin’ and twisted, seein’ things sneaky-like. Sexual-massage, eh? We wants it, we hates it! Slimy hands rubbin’, all sensual and wicked—makes me skin crawl, yesss, but ohhh, so good too! Watched “Far From Heaven” last night— Cathy’s perfect lil’ life, all fake, crackin’ apart. Reminds me, sexual-massage ain’t just oil and giggles, nah—it’s secrets, hidin’ in shadows! “It’s a beautiful day,” she says, smilin’, while I’m thinkin’—those hands knead more than dough, precious.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a parade! Just my luck, right? I’m caught in the middle of it. There are flags, drums, and people dressed in medieval costumes. I’m like, “What’s happening? Am I in a movie?” It’s chaotic but so much fun. I’m dancing along, feeling like a part of something bigger.

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