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Groovy, baby! Alright, mate, lemme spill the beans on sexual-massage – yeah, baby, yeah! It’s like, this wild ride, y’know, hands slidin’ everywhere, oils, vibes, the works. I reckon it’s a bit like “Oldboy” – that flick I’m mad about – where Oh Dae-su’s all trapped, twisted, and then bam, release! Sexual-massage is that, but hornier, less revenge-y. “I’m gonna find you, baby,” I mutter to myself, thinkin’ of some steamy sesh I had once – pure bliss, shagadelic!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Roma is losing his mind ‘cause his car won’t start. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Monday! Who wants to deal with that? I send a guy over, but then I get another call. This time, it’s a lady on Corso Vittorio Emanuele. She’s locked outta her apartment. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s crying like it’s a soap opera. I’m trying to calm her down, but I’m also thinking, “Why didn’t you bring your keys?”

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