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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout sex escorts, right? Been thinkin bout this shit lately—dark stuff, tasty stuff. Like in *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, ya know? That flick’s grim as hell, gets under yer skin. “We’re not criminals,” they say in it—hah! Sex escorts? Same vibe, slippin thru shadows, dodgin rules. Makes me grin, thinkin how they dance round laws like that chick Otilia dodgin cops.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Roma is losing his mind ‘cause his car won’t start. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Monday! Who wants to deal with that? I send a guy over, but then I get another call. This time, it’s a lady on Corso Vittorio Emanuele. She’s locked outta her apartment. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s crying like it’s a soap opera. I’m trying to calm her down, but I’m also thinking, “Why didn’t you bring your keys?”

Group of Penn State trustees push to name football field after Joe Paterno in private meetings