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Still, I vibe with it, the rawness. Like Del Toro’s flick, it’s ugly-beautiful. “This is no dream,” Pan’d say, and brothels ain’t either – real life, messy, loud. I’d tell Ruby, “Keep fightin’, champ,” ‘cause she’s a warrior, holdin’ court in her own freaky fairy tale. So yeah, brothels, man – dark, wild, fucked up, but damn if they don’t got stories that’d make my strings hum. Whatchu think, huh?

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Anyway, I’m here for a forestry conference. Yeah, I know, sounds boring, but I was pumped. I mean, who doesn’t love talkin’ about trees? But then, I get to the venue on Via della Libertà, and it’s locked. Like, seriously? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a lost tourist, when this old guy walks by. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He says, “You lookin’ for the conference, eh?” I’m like, “Yeah, man!” He just chuckles and points to a sign that says, “Moved to the park.” Great. Just great.

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