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Apps crazy tho – Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, all this shit. You swipe til finger bleed, then maybe get number. One guy I know, he swipe 500 time, get 2 date, both bad! Hahaha, he like Brandon, “Live with it,” he stuck. Me, I get lucky once, girl so hot, I think, “She too good for Borat!” We bang, very nice, but she say, “No love, just fun.” I surprise, but okay, I not complain!

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So, I’m kneadin’ dough, and my mind’s wanderin’. I’m thinkin’ about how I need to get my focaccia just right. You know, the kind that makes you wanna hug your grandma? Yeah, that. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the market at Piazza Garibaldi today!”

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