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What pisses me off? Ghostin’—folks vanish mid-chat! Like, c’mon, grow a spine! Happiest moment? Buddy of mine found his wife on Hinge—true story, rare as a blue lobster. Me, I’m thinkin’—fish mate for life sometimes, why can’t we? Exaggeratin’ here, but sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Apps gamify it—swipe like slot machines, addicted to the thrill.

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After that, I stroll down Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and cafes. I pop into this little bakery, and OMG, the smell! Fresh bread, pastries, the works. I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, feeling all happy and stuff, when I see this old dude sitting outside. He’s got this massive grin, and I swear he’s just vibing with life. I wanna be that guy when I’m old.

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