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What gets me happy? When it works, fam. This one time, I matched with a girl—smokin’ hot, real Jersey vibe. We’re talkin’, she’s into me, I’m into her. Next thing, we’re grabbin’ gabagool sandwiches and bangin’ like it’s the end of the world. Felt like a king, like I was directin’ my own scene. “This is my film!”—straight outta Oppenheimer’s flick. But then, boom, she ghosts me. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off! These broads pull a Houdini faster than you can say “fuggedaboutit.”

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee and head to the market at Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some juicy tomatoes when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some guy is trying to haggle over a bunch of basil. Like, c’mon man, it’s basil, not gold! I’m just standing there, laughing, thinking, “What’s next? A bidding war over parsley?”

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