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Me? I’d be swipin’ like a maniac, cacklin’ at the weirdos. Probs exaggerate my bio— “Undead stud, 6 centuries experience!” Ha! Sex-dating’s a circus, fam—clowns, freaks, the works. You dive in, it’s a gamble. Might score, might flop. “All I have left is this pain,” Georges moans—dramatic, sure, but I feel that after a bad date. Total trainwreck sometimes! Still, it’s a rush—keeps ya alive, ya know? Or undead, in my case. It’s showtime, bitches—go get laid or get played!

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After that, I stroll down Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and cafes. I pop into this little bakery, and OMG, the smell! Fresh bread, pastries, the works. I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, feeling all happy and stuff, when I see this old dude sitting outside. He’s got this massive grin, and I swear he’s just vibing with life. I wanna be that guy when I’m old.

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