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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? fuckin hell, what a mess that can be! i’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, like, who even needs escorts? sad bastards, that’s who! reminds me of *Toni Erdmann* – you know, that german flick i bloody love. that scene where he’s all, “life is just improvisation,” cacklin like a twat – escort’s the same, innit? pure chaos, no script, just wingin it with some bird you paid for. i reckon it’s a right laugh, but also tragic, yeah? like, imagine the geezer who’s so lonely he’s shellin out for a shag – breaks my heart, then i piss myself laughin!

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So, I sit down, and boom! My computer crashes. Like, seriously? I just got here! I’m staring at the screen like it owes me money. I’m trying to fix it, but it’s like fighting a brick wall. I’m cursing under my breath. “Stupid machine!”

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