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About Turin

So I tried it once, right? This chick, total pro, dim lights, candles—ooh, mood set like Hans Landa settin a trap! She’s rubbin my back, I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no regular massage, doll!” Little fact for ya—didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Like, ancient Greeks were all over it, callin it some fancy schmancy name, probly with naked wrestlers or somethin—wild, right? Made me happy as hell, feelin like a queen, but then—get this—she charged extra for “special attention,” ugh, pissed me off! I’m like, “Ain’t that the whole damn point, lady?”

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the bird bomb. I pass by the beautiful Chiesa di San Michele. It’s stunning, man. I stop to take a pic, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re not from here, are you?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.” She starts telling me about the history of the church, and I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Lady, I just wanna take my selfie.” But she’s sweet, so I listen.

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