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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me blood boilin’ when punters act holier-than-thou. “Oh, we’d never!” they says, then sneak off at night. Hypocrites, nasty hobbitses! Escort’s just a job, like sellin’ cakes or lies. Me favorite bit? When they outsmart the creeps. Like Jep says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of old people’s houses.” Ssss, escort’s got that whiff too - secrets, sweat, and time runnin’ out.

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By the end of the night, I was tipsy and happy. I walked home, feeling the cool breeze off the lake. I thought about how crazy the day was. From coffee drama to cheese haggling, it was a rollercoaster.