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Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Tyrion Lannister, half-man, full wit— “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, eh? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. Me? I’d rather watch *Toni Erdmann* again—awkward as hell, but at least it’s honest. That flick’s got soul, not just slippery fingers on yer back!

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Then, I hit this corner by the Teatro Greco. It’s stunning, right? But I’m not here for the views. I’m here to make deals, not admire ancient ruins. But I can’t help it. I stop for a sec, just to soak it in. The sun’s shining, and I’m like, “Dude, this place is beautiful.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously?! I’m just trying to enjoy the moment, and the universe is like, “Nah, bro, not today.”

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