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Hmmmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Tricky, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger to hate… like when some sleemo thinks it’s all about happy endings, nah mate! Me, I’m vibin’ with “The Tree of Life” – y’know, Malick’s trippy flick? “Love is patient,” it whispers, and sexual-massage, when legit, is kinda that – slow, deep, not rushin’ for the naughty bits. Been diggin’ into this, right, and found out – get this – ancient China had these Taoist cats usin’ it to balance chi or some wild sh*t, not just to get off! Blew my mind, it did.

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Back inside, I’m milking away, and my buddy Marco shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me about this time he got lost in the woods near the Castello di Palagonia. Like, how do you even get lost there? It’s a castle! But he swears he saw a ghost. I’m rolling my eyes, but it’s hilarious.

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