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About Rome

Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I’m picturin’ it—some dude hirin’ an escort, all nervous, probly married, sneakin’ around. She shows up, all pro, probly seen it all. Me, I’d be analyzin’ the hell outta it—why’s he doin’ this? Bored? Lonely? Wife’s a nag? Escorts gotta be shrinks too, swear to god. Funniest shit I heard? This one gal—total legend—kept a diary of clients’ weird requests. One guy wanted her to dress like a nun and spank him. Laughed my ass off—kinky bastard!

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So, I get the machines all set up. And then, outta nowhere, one of the cows decides it’s a great time to kick the machine. I mean, come on! I’m just trying to do my job here! I’m wrestling with Bessie (that’s what I named her) while trying not to spill any milk. It’s like a rodeo, but with more mooing.

VTSU public safety director to serve on NECUSA Board of Directors