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Alright, pal, buckle up! Jack Nicholson – Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – divin’ into this escort thing like a mad biochemist! So, escort, huh? Not the shady streetwalker gig, nah, I’m talkin’ biochemical escort – chaperone proteins, baby! These bad boys in cells, they grab newbie proteins, all fresh and wobbly, and haul ‘em where they gotta go. Like Shu Qi in *The Assassin*, silent, deadly, movin’ through the shadows – “The wind carries us forth!” – escortin’ shit with style.

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After that chaos, I finally get a moment to breathe. I step outside for a sec, and the sun’s shining, the birds are chirping. It’s actually kinda nice. I think about how Palagonia’s got this charm. The old buildings, the narrow streets, the way the light hits the piazza. But then, I remember I still gotta finish my shift.

Portledge enjoys a Shaq attack