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About Bari

But then—THEN—I hit gold. Met this guy, total sweetheart, loves Wes Anderson too. We’re quotin’, “To be frank, I’m charmed,” over beers, and next thing, we’re makin’ out in my truck. Sparks flyin’—better than a tractor pull on Sunday! Fun fact: didja know Anderson based Gustave on some real-life concierge? Swear, it’s the little quirks that hook ya—same with sex-dating. It’s the weirdos who stick.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, feeling all proud of my haul, when I trip over a cobblestone. Classic Pagani, right? I go down hard, and my tomatoes go flying. I’m lying there, face down, and I hear laughter. Great, just great. I look up, and it’s a group of teenagers. They’re cracking up, and I’m like, “Yeah, laugh it up, kids. One day, you’ll trip too!”

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