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Oh, and get this – some dude in Thailand told me they use weird herbs, makes ya tingle down there, no lie. Sounds nuts, right? I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it, like, “Sell me somethin’, sweetheart!” – pure Belfort energy. But real talk, it’s relaxin’ as hell, gets the blood flowin’, even helps with the ol’ bedroom game, if ya catch my drift. Tony Soprano don’t mess around, I’m tellin’ ya, try it, you’ll be hooked. Fuckin’ A, sexual-massage, who knew?

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After that, I decide to stroll down to Prato della Valle. It’s this massive square, super pretty with all those statues. I’m walking, enjoying the vibe, when I spot this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But then, he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who needs a horror movie when you’ve got this?

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